Speak

And there's the song,
I sang to you,
And there's that,
Memory again,
And there's that thought,
Ne'er expressed,
And there's that insane,
Streak again,
And there's that biting,
Look you give,
And there's that scathing,
Wound again,
And there's that silent,
Ineptitude,
It creeps on me,
Yet again,
I lose again,
The Eastward urge,
Drawn Westward,
To you am I,
And there's that foolish,
Look again,
And there's that wasted,
Inward sigh,
And there's that painted,
Face again,
And there's that happy,
Mask again,
And there's that cruel,
Indifference,
And there's that,
Disconnect again.
And there's that thought,
Of absolution,
And there's that creeping,
Sin again,
And there's that slanted,
Look of disgust,
There's that planted,
Cruel word,
And yet there are still,
Feelings 'ere,
So strong that they,
Appear weak,
And there's that selfish,
Inward urge,
To break the silence,
And to speak.

An Apology

The beast within me,
Grew and grew,
'til writhing I,
Drew it out.
And then all hell,
Did break loose,
'twas a monster,
Without a doubt.
It spoke in words,
I'd never use,
Burnt all bridges,
That I would tread.
Blood red colour,
Repugnant hues,
It painted in my,
Sorry head,
And all around me,
It wreaked havoc,
Until I was,
Alone again,
And then retreating,
To dark abode,
It did give up,
Its thoughts profane.
And all I cared for,
It had damaged,
And I was filled with,
Inward rage.
And no self pity,
No sorry thoughts,
Would turn it; the,
Repulsive page.
And as the morning,
Again draws near,
Begins the task,
Of reparation,
Though the beast,
Doth make it hard,
To make the eastward,
Preparation.
Loved ones,
And other friends,
Know naught of this,
Torment,
Of this beast,
That lurks within me,
Filling me with this,
Lament.
And I do seek,
Their forgiveness,
Undeserving,
Though I might be,
Forgive me,
For I am trying,
To tame it on the,
Eastward journey.